I've been wondering lately if perhaps it would be easier for me to be happier if I wasn't so sensitive to other people's feelings. What if I were the kind of person who only worried about myself and my own feelings? This is rather an impossible question, since being a mother makes me incapable of only thinking of myself. I constantly have two other smallish beings to think about, care about and nurture.
But then there are also all the other family members and friends whose feelings I truly care about and who, as whole people, I truly care about. If I cared less about them, would I be able to care more about myself? And in doing so, would it be easier to place myself and my own feelings, wants, needs and desires on the top of the heap?
My theory goes something like this: if I were less sensitive to how other people are feeling, I would be less prone to worry about them, would spend less time thinking of them, and would have more time to think of me. I would therefore be happier due to being able to concentrate more on myself. I wonder if perhaps I just need to be a bit less sensitive, less empathetic, and be a mite more ignorant.
They say ignorance is bliss. I wonder if maybe they are right.
Ignorance is bliss, but bliss due to ignorance isn't necessarily desirable. The connection between the resources you put into others and the resources you spend on yourself is curiously non-intuitive. Taking from one pile doesn't make the other grow. This is where Carol McCloud's concept of bucket filling comes into play.
ReplyDeleteMy own personal solution to the quandary is to take care of myself, to be healthy/happy enough to take care of those I love, which makes me healthy/happy enough to take care of myself...rinse and repeat. Good luck :)