I went out with a girlfriend last night for "coffee" and the conversation came around to vision boards. If you are unfamiliar with them, the idea is to make a collage of all of your dreams and goals that you would like to fulfill. You are then to hang this collage in a prominent spot where you can look at it often and remind yourself constantly what you want to do with your life. It's supposed to be inspiring.
I don't have a vision board. It has been suggested to me on several occasions that I should make one. Honestly, I don't really get the concept of them to begin with but even if I did and were to set about making one, I wouldn't have the foggiest idea what to put on one. This goes back to how I'm supposed to marinate myself in my dreams". I am beginning to think that I am really completely unable to look to the future and aspire to anything. Up until now, I've basically been letting life happen to me and it's gone pretty well, I think, which makes it even more difficult to think about planning the future.
But surely there must be things I want to do, I hear you interject (I know because I get that a lot). Why, yes, there are things I want to do but there are so MANY things I want to do, I don't know where to start. This is where I find a vision board so limiting. Can I put that many things on a vision board? I kind of feel like I have to narrow things down to a top 10 list, which, obviously I have trouble doing. My friend pointed out that when I met her last fall, I said the same thing, meaning 6 months or more has passed and I am still no closer to dreaming or even knowing what I want to dream about.
My husband has a vision board, which he made a while ago and stuck to the bathroom mirror. It's a good spot for him because he looks at it every day. However, it's also a bad spot because then I look at it every day. And looking at his goals and aspirations every day I've realized is actually rather irritating for me. "So take it down," my girlfriend said. So I did - and moved it somewhere else where he can still look at it but I don't need to see it very often. I can't really explain it except to say that it drains the energy out of me to look at his vision board. It's not that his goals are bad. They're just not mine.
So, what are my goals, my dreams, my visions? I honestly don't know. But I'm working on it and I'll let you know when I figure it out.
"Your friend pointed out that when you met her last fall, you said the same thing, meaning 6 months or more has passed and you are still no closer to dreaming or even knowing what you want to dream about."
ReplyDeleteWell, let me add to this. I met you on May 19, 1995 which is now almost 15 years ago, and even then you had no idea about your dreams. That is not entirely true actually. You did make it very clear that you wanted to be a housewife and mom. (What you meant was "stay at home mom" but unfortunately that did not get translated as such for me till about half year ago !)Now that you obviously have realized the stay-at-home-mom-dream, you have no other dreams to dream. I myself would go entirely bezirk if I didn't have any dreams to dream. I wish you all the best in discovering your dreams. Let the dream marinade come ... and some mojo as well.
I kind of think that you have too many people pushing you to be and do, and subsequently are falling and floundering without practice. I do not think that you have done nothing with your life. You are raising two beautiful children that are well mannered and well fed. You have managed to reincarnate your life every 2-4 years sometimes in a different town, more often on a different continent. That takes a lot of work and adjusting. How is one supposed to find any me time when you are so busy readjusting the whole family? Do not belittle the strength, creativity and difficulties that takes. That is not easy for anyone on a good day and you do it regularly without complaint. How about starting with some kindness for self? You took up highland dance, you exercise and recently you have started writing again. We do not all have to invent the wheel to call ourselves worthy. Just saying...
ReplyDeletekkrige hit the nail right on the head there, especially with that last sentence. That's advice I'm going to take for myself, if you don't mind.
ReplyDelete"Worthy or not worthy" does not matter. "worthier (than before) or not worthier (than before)" is what matters.
ReplyDeleteYour growth mindset theorist and practioner.