Grrr...

The chiropractor I share an office with and I have begun trading services, which is an awesome perk to doing this kind of work.  I gave her a reiki session a week or so ago and today it was my turn to be on the receiving end of the trade.  I knew she didn't practice traditional chiropractics but I didn't really know what she did -- nor did it matter.  I'm open to all kinds of bodywork and I'm always willing to try new things.  It turns out that she does gentle adjustments mixed with energy work and today she worked on my bones and my emotions.

The result is that it seems she's been able to bring about some pretty big changes.  Structurally, things have been shifting all afternoon and I've been having dizzy spells.  This is annoying but doesn't worry me much and I assume all will be well after a good night's sleep.  Emotionally, all sorts of things have been shifting and I have become very aware, once again, that I have been holding in vast amounts of anger and I haven't the slightest idea what to do with it all.  A friend suggested smashing things and/or screaming and/or playing some kind of video game where I can kill things.  Not bad ideas for blowing off some steam but none of those things will really deal with the anger or the causes of it.  I'm thinking I might start making a list of all the things I'm angry about.  Maybe if it's all more tangible, I'll have some idea what to do with it.  The one thing I don't want to do is bury it all again, because I know that is only a temporary fix and doesn't do anything but make me miserable.  So, please, wish me luck and some courage to deal with my anger properly this time -- or at least try to.