Rebel Yell

I've been in a miserable mood off and on for the past week.  There has been lots going on, both emotionally and otherwise, but somehow my mood never seemed to be related to the current highs or lows of my emotional state.  I obviously knew something was bothering me, but couldn't quite figure it out -- until today.

Today I remembered that I really - and I mean really - don't like being told what to do.  I'm sure anyone who knows me well enough will attest to that.  In a school or work situation, I'm ok with it but in my personal life, I really don't respond well to having other people ordering me around.  There's too much rebel in me.

I found this realization a little amusing because for the most part I think I've become tame - age does that to us - and I often wonder what has become of the individualist I used to be.  Well, it turns out she's still in there and she will make herself known if you try to tell me what to do. 

So while I don't particularly enjoy being miserable, I'm much more accepting of it now that I know the reason for it.  Because underneath it all I quite like that part of me.  The part that won't go softly into this good night when told to go there.  I might still go, but not without a good loud rebel yell.