Homeostasis

In school I'm always hearing about homeostasis: "a relatively stable state of equilibrium or a tendency toward such a state between the different but interdependent elements or groups of elements of an organism, population, or group." (Merriam-Webster)  Basically, it means that our bodies are constantly seeking balance.  At school, we are generally referring to physiological homeostasis, but the term can also be applied quite generally as well.

Over the past few days I've been able to observe myself seeking homeostasis.  I have not, by any means, been actively trying to balance myself, but it's happening - at least a little - whether I like it or not.

On Wednesday evening, I had what I shall refer to as an emotional breakdown.  A lot of things that I'd been keeping suppressed finally decided they needed to come out, which they did.  In force.  When it was over, I felt as if I had nothing left, as if I were broken.  I felt this way for a couple of days before I noticed that each day I felt a little bit better, even though nothing had changed.  Then today I felt somewhat buoyed by my son's birthday party and noted that I was looking forward to Halloween tomorrow.  It was nice to know that I was still capable of smiling and finding pleasure in some small aspects of my life. 

If you had asked me on Wednesday night if I thought that would be possible, I would have said "no".  But we humans are very interesting creatures.  What I'm learning is that despite everything that may be happening, our bodies will seek balance.  Even when we are down, we will (eventually) be able to see a silver lining somewhere, even if we're not really looking for it.  I won't always feel empty and broken, because my body won't let me.