A Challenge

My therapist has given me homework:  I've got one week to put myself in a better mood.  I have to get out of my funk.  I need to turn that frown upside down.  The trouble is, no matter how you say it, it's all so much easier said than done.

The point of this exercise, is, of course, to demonstrate that I can control my mood -- and not always let my mood control me.  I am supposed to learn that any mood can be altered by changing thought and behaviour patterns and that any mood - including depression - is nothing more than a transient state.  Depression should not be a pit that I attempt to crawl out of every now that then, only to fall back in.  It should be more like, well, I don't really know, which is the problem.  I suppose mood oscillation should be more horizontal than vertical.  And that despite the fact that I feel like I always end up back on the low end of the mood spectrum and that the highs are always short-lived, I need to think of my moods as more dynamic and always able to shift, so as not to get stuck.

Anyways... the point is that I am supposed to be in charge and I am not supposed to let myself get overwhelmed.  Which is kind of the opposite of the other big challenge I've been working on, which is to have more access to my emotions, let them show and not try so hard to control them.  Obviously, I've been doing it all wrong the whole time: reigning in when I should be letting go and vice versa.  (Bloody hell, but this is hard!)

I've been working on letting go of my emotions (especially agitation and anger), but so far without much success.  The other day, I thought I was doing better and it felt like I was showing my anger but alas, no one paid any attention.  Nothing makes you feel more invisible than putting yourself out there and having no one notice.

But while that is an ongoing challenge, it's not my homework this week.  This week, I am focusing on improving my mood.  I've been trying to stay positive for the past week or two, but it doesn't seem to be going very well.  I'm really not sure how I am supposed to improve my overall mood -- and make it stick -- but I have a couple of ideas, which fall into a few categories: being social, being productive and being 'professional'.

• I started off last night by going to our local high school band/orchestra/choir concert, which provided some nice distraction in the form of great musical performances with the pleasant addition of seeing a few friends while we were there.
• My daughter and I are going to visit my BFF this weekend.  This will be a quick overnight trip, but it will be a good escape nonetheless.
• I will keep moving with setting up my business.  I still have to work on the website, set up a social media presence and get more marketing paraphernalia.
• I will finish up all things Christmas: cards, shopping, etc.
• I will help teach a reiki 3 class on Sunday.
• I will put in a few hours at my new little job as 'office manager'.  It's not rocket science but I am highly valued there and there's always an opportunity to learn and for a little chit chat with lovely people.
• I will be interviewing on Monday for an apprenticeship position at the school I recently graduated from.  It's a volunteer position but it will be a great learning experience and could lead to other great opportunities.

So, that's my plan for turning my mood around.  It's going to be a busy week.  We'll see if it works... Wish me luck!