Doubts, Dreams and Distractions

I'm slowly settling into the new house.  The unpacking has slowed, but will eventually get finished.  I'm getting things set up and organized.  Next week the children will start school and real life will begin. 

Once the kids are settled at school, I will seriously need to look for a job.  I peruse the online ads pretty much every day but there is really very little that a) interests me and b) I'm qualified for.  This is very discouraging.  I have a 4-year university Bachelor's degree, a university certificate in Teaching English as a Second Language and a year of Massage school under my belt.  That's 6 years of post-secondary education.  And yet it qualifies me for absolutely nothing in the Job Market.  I am a smart woman and I do not want a dead-end, minimum wage job yet it seems that's about all I have a chance of doing.  A friend of mine told me that if anyone met me, they'd hire me right away - despite not having the right background.  Unfortunately, all anyone gets to see is my resume - not my person.  It's highly discouraging.

On the other hand, I had a very encouraging dream right before I woke up this morning.  I was in a bank and, to make a long story short, wasn't getting the service I needed.  I lost it and yelled at the "customer service" woman behind the desk.  Despite being very angry & upset, I managed to speak my mind quite effectively and, oddly enough, the woman got my point, apologized and gave me what I needed.  I was quite shaken up by the whole thing, but realized that for some reason, that was what was needed to get what I wanted.  It was so strange to watch myself get so angry at a complete stranger, yet somehow liberating at the same time.  I think I was somehow showing myself that I really can express myself & my emotions and a) it's not always a bad thing and b) it can be useful.

Otherwise, I've had a pretty social week.  The kids were lonely & going stir crazy so once I finally got my car, we headed back to the old neighbourhood for them to visit their friends.  We ended up staying long than we'd planned & would have stayed longer, but had to come back & feed the cat.  When we got back, it was my turn to be social.  Of course, the kids joined me and had other kids to play with - just not necessarily their ages.  It's been a busy, social week and it's been awesome!  Saw some old friends & made some new ones and because of that (ok, maybe it's the wine, too) - and despite everything else - I am a happy girl tonight :)