My favourite uncle passed away this weekend. From cancer. He'd beaten lung cancer a couple of years ago but it came back. At the age of 84 with a decade of health concerns behind him and after years of living in near constant pain, he decided to forego treatment. I found out about this last week and had barely come to terms it when he died.
His birthday was this month and I was going to call him (but he died before I could). My birthday is tomorrow and having our birthdays in the same month is one of the things that bonded us. That and a running joke for the past 25 years or so that he was my favourite uncle and I was his favourite niece. It's irrelevant whether that was true or not, but it was our little inside joke. Truth be told, he *was* my favourite uncle on my Mom's side of the family. He was loud and robust and funny and always making jokes. He was opinionated and set in his ways and got up way too early in the morning. He was the crazy uncle amongst the quiet ones. He stood out -- in a good way.
My favourite uncle on my Dad's side died maybe 10 years ago. Of esophageal cancer. He was my Dad's older brother. He had a blind, wonky eye from when he fell out of a highchair when he was a baby and he could whistle in the coolest way. He, too, had a good sense of humour and looked a lot like my Dad.
I've decided I'm not going to choose any more favourite uncles. It's not working out for me very well.
Now that I think about it, I've had three uncles die. All from cancer. Stupid cancer.
I have also been thinking that this is the 2nd death in my family in the past 6 months. Things often happen in threes so I'm kind of dreading the next 6 months and crossing my fingers that that really is nothing more than a superstition.
I went to my cousin's funeral in December primarily to see all my aging aunts and uncles and the rest of the family I rarely get to see. I'm glad I did, as it was the last time I got to see my favourite uncle. I'm going to his funeral this week, too, and while it will be good to see family again, it's also too soon to be seeing them again under similar circumstances. On the bright side, my husband is visiting this week so I can do this little funeral road trip without having to drag the kids along. I'll also get to spend lots of quality time with my sister, as we're carpooling on the 7-hour return trip.
While I'm trying to look for the positives, the fact remains that today I am sad. Beyond that, I recognize it and I am allowing myself to feel that way. And I'm ok with that.
:'(
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