Unhappy Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday and despite the many, many people (mostly on Facebook) wishing me a "Happy Birthday", my day was decidedly very unhappy.

From the moment I awoke, I could not shake the thought that it would be appropriate (and, yes, poetic) if my life were to end on the day that it began.  I tried so hard to focus on the positives of the day: good gifts from my family, hugs from my friends, 100% on my test at school but still I could not surface above the downward pull of my unhappiness for very long.  I usually love my birthday but this year I felt there was really very little to celebrate and very little reason to look forward to the start of another year.

Luckily, the arrival of my sister and nieces and a good dinner out brought a smile to my face that evening and I was able to go to bed in somewhat better spirits.

Today I arrived at school to find a big, cheerful bouquet of lilies, roses and alstroemeria waiting for me from one of my classmates.  She is one of the brightest lights in my world and she is the embodiment of love.  She said she she blessed to know me, but I'm pretty sure the honour is all mine.

Later, in the course of my class, I received my attunement for the second level of Reiki.  It's hard to explain what an attunement feels like, and indeed it differs from person to person, but being blessed with Reiki energy is intense and beautiful and today was no different for me.  Today I was completely overwhelmed with love and light and happiness and I cried.  I cried because it felt amazing and I cried because I realized how much happiness I am lacking in my current life.  However, I also realized that I do have something to look forward to in the coming year and in my future: Reiki.  Learning and living and loving and finding my happiness through Reiki.  Right now that's all I've got.