Saturday 13 August 2011

A Little More Understanding

Every once in a while it happens: I wake up in a good mood and it sticks with me for the rest of the day.  It happened to me this week and what's even more surprising is that this time it stuck with me for 3 whole days.  It was fantastic!  I was buoyant, smiling, happy and had an unusual amount of energy.  This led to me to actually accomplish things (like cleaning the house!), which, in turn, led me to feel that much better about myself and Things In General.  It was highly motivating and ever so enjoyable.

Whenever this happens (which is, sadly, only about once a year) I can't help but think that this is probably how normal people go through life.  Everything is bright and clear and positive and so, so easy.  This usually leads me to consider whether or not I really should be on antidepressants -- that maybe I could be that way all the time, and how wonderful that would be.  Except that I don't really believe that antidepressants could make me feel that way all the time, so I quickly stop thinking about it and go back to my awe at how nice it is on the Other Side.

It is so refreshing to feel "normal" every once in a while.  It helps me understand what it's like to live in that other world, if only briefly.  Not that I would wish depression on anyone, but I sometimes wish it was possible to do the opposite as well -- to have those close to me experience a normal day in my world, where everything is cloudy and grey and exhausting.  I'm pretty sure it would lead to them understanding me a little bit more and I believe a little understanding goes a long way...

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