Roadblocks

Yesterday was, to say the very least, a bad day that got worse.  By nightfall, I was in a place that was darker and bleaker than anywhere I had ever been...

Today I woke up all puffy-eyed and miserable but decided to go to class, despite my inclination to stay in bed and be miserable.  Fortunately, part of my brain was still working and I reasoned that since these classes are designed to teach me to use energy to heal people and since I was a person in desperate need of some healing, I should go.  Also, it was crystal class and crystals always seem to work their magic on me better than anything else.  So I dragged my sorry self to class and after 5 hours, some good food (homemade eggplant parmigiana "lasagna") and 2 crystal sessions, I was feeling much, much better.  I even managed a smile or two and a bit of conversation before the afternoon was over.

I'm not sure there was any one thing in particular that pushed me off the edge last night, rather that it was one more thing placed atop the mountain of frustrations that have been accruing in nearly every aspect of my life.  It seems that no matter which way I turn or which path I try to follow, the road is blocked.  Most of the blockages these days are related to immigration but in the end, it doesn't matter what is stopping me only that I can't go on.  And that is precisely the crux of the matter: I can't go on.  I can't continue upon any path I've chosen, nor can I stay where I am.  I simply can't go on like this, certainly not if I want to keep my sanity.

I am trying to be patient and I am trying to be strong and I am trying to get around and/or move the roadblocks.  But it's a daunting task, and it's tiring and sometimes my strength fails me.  It's scary when that happens but in the end there's nothing I can do but pick myself up and keep going so that someday (soon, I hope) I'll have have at least one clear path ahead of me.