(Im)Mobility

It took a lot to pick me up this time and push me back out into the world.  Which makes sense: the deeper you go, the harder it is to crawl back out.  But, thanks to poetry, blogs, Facebook, song lyrics and even some real live people I was inspired enough to get back on the proverbial horse.

There's never really any one thing that starts the downward spiral but I do know that feeling stagnant is a huge part of it.  As my friend, K, said, "the act of motion, while seemingly mundane and nothing, sometimes holds the key to new life."  She is so right.  Often, it doesn't even matter which direction I'm going in, as long as I'm going.  There's nothing worse than being - or even feeling - stuck.

So once I picked myself up, I got moving: I started cleaning my basement (aka "the Depths of Destruction"), I looked for office space both online and in the physical sense and, perhaps most surprising of all, I updated my resume and actually applied for a job.  I still need to spend another 2 or 3 weekends in the depths to reclaim the basement completely.  I couldn't find any affordable office space that suited my needs (so I'll stay in the space-sharing situation I'm in for now).  I have no idea what will come of this job application.  But you know what?  None of that matters.  What matters is that I kept moving.  Nothing will happen if I do nothing, but if I can keep moving, chances are something will change.

(I suddenly have Julie Andrews in my head, singing Something Good with Christopher Plummer in The Sound of Music: "Nothing comes from nothing/Nothing ever could"...)

I must remind myself that I not only need movement but that change doesn't often happen overnight.  I need to be patient and trust that all of my motions will carry me in the right direction.  I also have to remember that being and/or feeling stuck is really only temporary -- even if it takes me another year (or two) to get to the place I want to be.  I know it won't be easy but as long as I keep moving, I'll get there.