My dear friend K over at A New Day posed this question on Sunday: "Where are you at in your life right now?" I've been giving this question a lot of thought and I've concluded that where I'm at is not where I want to be.
It seems that my life is cycling, circling and I never seem to be getting anywhere. At least as far as my emotional stability is concerned. Every time I think things are looking up, it seems that it all just comes crashing down around me again. Have you ever watched a duckling try to scramble up on the muddy bank of a pond? He tries and tries but can't quite do it so he swims around in the water for another while then tries again to hoist himself up on the bank. I really want to be up on the bank but I keep slipping back down into the water.
I know I have made some progress. I have not revisited the deep, dark pit of despair in which I found myself in the winter. And I have have made certain, very promising strides in pursuing a new career path. Both of those are very significant and positive advances but in the grand scheme of things, I wonder if it really makes a difference. If anything is going to make a difference.
K also said, "sometimes we are where we need to be". If this is where I need to be, this constant cycle of almost being on the road to contentment but then finding myself lost again, then so be it. I'm sure I'm here for a reason, which could be nothing more than learning what unhappiness is so that I can recognize happiness again when it does come. I really hope it does because I would really like to be happy again. And stay that way.
Maybe you need to be here because easy lessons are not always learned as well. Difficult paths often have the most to show us. Perhaps there is still much for you to learn...
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