Privacy

I had lunch with a classmate today and at one point our discussion turned to her 15-year-old daughter, whose current favourite phrase is, "Leave me alone!".  While my friend understands her daughter's need for privacy, she is worried that if she continues to tell everyone in her world to leave her be, that one day she really will find herself truly alone. 

I also understand, very well, the need to be left alone although I don't think I was ever as vocal about it as my friend's daughter.  I also understand, perhaps too well, her need for privacy.  In the course of our conversation today (and as a result of some recent events in my own life) I realized that I am, and always have been, a very private person.  It takes a certain kind of person to ask just the right questions to be able to draw me out and really get to the real Me. 

I've been pondering the idea of privacy all night, and even went so far as to look up the definition on dictionary.com.  There I found 16 definitions of  'private', among which were:

- not open or accessible to the general public  

- without the presence of others; alone.

- solitary; secluded.

- preferring privacy

'Privacy', in turn, resulted in fewer definitions, among them:

- the state of being private;  retirement or seclusion.

- the state of being free from intrusion or disturbance in one's private life or affairs

 

What I've concluded is that all of the above definitions are also all very accurate descriptions of me.  Unfortuately, I've become aware in the past year or so that many people close to me are/have been hurt or affronted that I do not want to share myself with them.  It's really not that at all, it's just that sharing myself, my thoughts and my feelings is not what I do.  Or at least not what I do well.  And certainly not something I do with ease or without requiring a certain amount of work to draw me out.  I have been - and still am - trying to work on being more open but it's extremely difficult for me.  All I ask is patience and understanding.