If there's one thing I've learned about cancer, it's that it's unpredictable. You never know who it's going to hit, or how and you certainly never know how their treatment will go or how the cancer will react to said treatment. It's a crap shoot.
The newest development is that the 9 rounds of chemo my sister had did its job to minimize the cancer that the doctors knew she had. Unfortunately, even though that all went well, she somehow developed a couple of new tumours in a new place and will now begin 8 rounds of radiation. It seems as soon as they get the cancer under control in one area, it pops up somewhere else. It is so incredibly frustrating!
My father is still doing well. He has recovered well enough from his surgery that he has regained his appetite, although the site of the colostomy bag is still tender. He's had a few rounds of chemo, which he's tolerating quite well so far. Fingers crossed that fatigue will be the worst of his symptoms.
I'm not really sure where all this has left me. The newest development in my sister's health is definitely not good news but I've had so much it, I think I'm almost becoming numb to it all. This particular diagnosis was almost expected (by me, based on a few symptoms I'd observed the last time I'd visited) but it doesn't change the fact that it sucks. Nor does it change the fact that this will likely not be the last piece of bad news I will receive, be it about her or my father. It will probably get worse before it gets better. Or maybe it'll just continue to get worse.
While all of us try to continue our lives as normally as we can, sometimes it hits me more than others that my family is not in a normal situation right now. For example, Thanksgiving is coming up in a week and a half. I would like nothing more than to host my family at my house because a) I'm the one most able to handle the stress of preparing a big meal and b) I have room for everyone and c) I have a new house I'd like them all to see. Unfortunately, my father and my sister will not be in any shape to travel (Dad especially) so we'll be visiting them instead. Which is ok and I am happy that we'll be able to get together. I'll just have to wait and hope that someday (Christmas? Easter?) I'll be able to have everyone gather in my home.
Otherwise, there's nothing exciting going on, as much as I wish otherwise. I am bored and lonely. The job search has still not produced a job. I have decided that if nothing has come up in the next couple of weeks, I'll contact a temp agency and see if I can at least get some work that way. I'm not exactly sure how to amp up my social life, but I'll continue to look.
I've realized that I really, really miss being surrounded by my reiki & holistic health people. I had a visit from my chiropractor friend last week and stopped by a reiki class to help with attunements when we were in Michigan on the weekend and it was awesome. I need to find some kindred spirits here -- I'm just not sure where or how. But I will work on it and, with any luck, something will come of it.
I did, at least, meet a few people last night at a book club my bestie took me to. Unfortunately, most of the women there are lawyers and social workers. I'm not going to turn down trying to get to know them, but I don't foresee that I have a lot in common with most of these women. I did pick up some good energy off a couple of them, tho, so I will try to get to know them better at the next meeting. You never know...
So, in a nutshell, things could be better. But I'm not drowning and I'm trying to make things better as best I can, which is all I can do. I just hope my strength holds up.
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