That's What Friends are For

Today I spent 6 hours driving in the car to visit my family in Canada, which gave me lots of time to think and reflect upon many things that have transpired over the past few days.  What I realized was that despite - or rather because of - the recent insanity and emotional upheaval in my world, I have been spending a lot of time this week talking to a few very special people I like to call friends.

For the past few weeks I was so miserable that I was unable to really talk to anyone about what was going on.  My husband suggested on Saturday, when I was in the depths of despair, that I call my best friend and talk to her.  I did, but she wasn't home.  She was where I would have rather been: collecting sap in the sugar bush with 3 small children and a heavily tattooed man.  Just as well, because I doubt I would have been able to carry on a coherent conversation.  When I did finally talk to her a few days later, we had a wonderful conversation that did me a world of good.

The following day I had a spontaneous lunch date with another girlfriend who is going through her own emotional and physical upheaval as she struggles through the semantics of divorce.  I hadn't had a chance to have a good talk in ages so it was fabulous to be able to air all of our cumulative grievances and offer each other a listening ear, a word of support and a big hug.

Yesterday, when the shit hit the fan at my house, I felt so incredibly blessed to have two other good friends with me via text and in person all day and all night long.  I find it even more interesting that these friends - who, luckily, are also neighbours - are people I have not known very long but with whom I have become very close very quickly.  And thank God for that!  There were innumerable text messages all day long, followed by a visit to my house and then the offer of refuge and a bottle of wine at their house.  They listened to me, offered words of wisdom, hugs and, most importantly, they made me laugh.

These friends have all shared with me their own personal battles as well.  I realized that I am only able to share my troubles with those whom I know have troubles of their own.  It seems almost counterintuitive to burden those who already have issues with my dilemmas, but then I believe that because they are able to trust me by sharing with me their problems - however major or minor they may be - I feel I am then, in turn, able to share my stories with them.  I know they will listen and I know they will understand.

Most of the time I feel very alone, even when I am surrounded by people.  This week has proved to me that I really do have people in my life -- and even in my neighbourhood -- who really do care about me.  I hope they understand how much it means to me that they are there.