Lest We Forget

It's funny, the things we forget.  Yesterday, I went to the bookstore and as I crossed the store to the section I was aiming for, I passed through the "Health" section.  My eyes scanned the titles as I walked down the aisle and fell upon a book entitled "PCOS for Dummies".  (It's not surprising that I noticed, it being the glaring black & yellow of the "Dummies" books and the acronym blazing all its capitol letters down its spine.)  Seeing the book made me stop, pick it up and give it a quick read.  Why?  Because I have PCOS.

PCOS stands for PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome.  It's an aptly-named syndrome: affected women have multiple cysts on their ovaries that cause a hormone imbalance -- and a slew of other symptoms.  The syndrome part basically means that the symptoms are so diverse and present so differently on everyone affected that they can't call it a disease.  I have a fairly mild version, I suppose, in that I don't have too many of the usual symptoms, which include: 

• Multiple ovarian cysts
• Irregular or absent menses
• Infertility
• Acne
• Obesity or inability to lose weight
• Excessive body or facial hair (hirsutism)
• Insulin resistance and possibly diabetes
• Thinning of scalp hair
• Velvety, hyperpigmented skin folds (acanthosis nigricans)
• High blood pressure
• Polycystic ovaries that are 2-5 times larger than healthy ovaries.
• Impaired lung function
• Sleep apnea
• Fatty liver degeneration (NAFLD)
• Disordered immune system
• Mood disorders, including anxiety and depression
• Appetite disorder
• High blood fats (cholesterol and triglycerides)
• Increased probability of cardiovascular disease or diabetes
• Bacterial infection (H. pylori)
• Increased sensitivity to chronic stress
• Evidence of auto-immune disorders such as Hashimoto's thyroiditis
• Dry Eye syndrome
• Multiple hormone imbalances, commonly including:
  • Androgens (testosterone)
  • Cortisol
  • Estrogens
  • FSH (follicle stimulating hormone)
  • Insulin
  • LH (luteinizing hormone)
  • progesterone
  • Prolactin
  • Thyroid hormones

(Wow.  I just pulled that list off the internet and there are a few new things on this list that I hadn't seen before... It's kind of scary when you see it all summed up that way...)

Luckily, as I said, I don't have all that going on, but it could change.  Most of the symptoms I have aren't really that problematic, or they tend not to bother anyone but me and they've become normal for me.  The worst culprit on the above list, for me and I'm sure for those I live with and interact with, are the "mood disorders".  I've discussed my depression before but because PCOS is a hormonal issue, the result is that I'm really moody.  (I don't get PMS, likely because I'm permanently that way.) 

Finding this book yesterday was a wake-up call for me in many ways.  I was reminded that I have a fairly major health issue but because its traces in my life are subtle and because I've been living with them for so long (13 years since I was diagnosed, 21 years since I noticed something was up), I've become used to it.  I forget that there is a reason -- a solid, physiological reason -- for the way that I am.

It also reminded me how easy it is to get used to an unpleasant situation and let that become normal.  When you find yourself facing things you'd rather not, or when you see that there's little you can do to change things, or when the symptoms are subtle, you simply tell yourself to suck it up, get over it and move on and all those problems and hurts simply become your normal.  But every once in a while, something happens -- the pain increases, a new symptom presents -- and you realize that you've been soldiering on for too long and that just because this has become your normal, it doesn't mean that it should be.