Why Bother?

That question has been running through my mind a lot over the past couple of days, although I'm trying very hard to ignore both the question and the sentiment attached to it.  I am determined not to fall back into old thought patterns, although I can feel myself hovering on the brink.  It's taking a tremendous amount of will power to ignore the old ways and stay on the new path.

So, what am I trying not to bother about?  The End.  Life as I currently know it may come to a crashing halt in just under 8 months.  You see, on the the weekend, I received a visa extension and a work permit.  Part of me - most of me - is overjoyed.  We can stay in the country for another while and I can finally go out and get myself a real job.  Unfortunately, on both documents is a date: July 27, 2012.  This means that both the extension and the work permit are only valid until then.  As far as the visa extension goes, this means that we've bought a little more time to figure out how to get ourselves those elusive green cards.  As for the work permit, it means that I can only work at whatever new job I get for just over half a year.  Given the time of year it is now, I won't realistically be looking for - or getting - any kind of job before January so I've got a maximum of 7 months of work life ahead of me.

Which brings me to the "why bother?" question.  Is is really worth my while to go through everything -- continue to set up my own LLC, find a job, start working, try to balance it all with kids and home life, etc for only 8 months?  The answer, of course, is "yes" because I know all to well from my own prior experience that denying myself such short-lived opportunities is not in my best interests.  I know that I should bother and should welcome any experiences that come my way - even if they are short-lived - because they will, in the end, make my life richer and make me a happier, more independent person.

But the question is still there and I still try to ignore it.  But perhaps, instead of ignoring that little voice that incessantly asks, "why bother?", I should answer it with "because I'm worth it!"