A Bad Day

Some days it hits me that I just really, really hate my life.  Today is not one of those days, but I had one recently.

The day started off with me trying to tidy up and getting aggravated with my children for leaving their belongings sprawled all over the house.  It didn't improve after that.  There were no further events that made anything worse but because I had allowed myself to feel angry, it opened the floodgates for all the negative emotions I generally suppress to start seeping into my day.  I know that in theory, I'm supposed to express my emotions but if I were to honestly express all the anger, sadness and frustration I actually feel I would never be able to function and no one would want to ever be anywhere near me.

So, my day started off with me being angry at my children, which then led me to be just generally angry at myself, my husband and the world at large for the rest of the day.  By evening that had morphed into frustration and sadness about the sorry state of my life in general. By the time I went to bed, I was a mess of hopeless tears.

I think what it boils down to is that I am so incredibly tired of being in transition.  I have been going through some major changes over the last year or two, which have brought about all sorts of changes in all aspects of my life.  It's necessary but it's exhausting.  And it's far from over.