Tattoos

I have two tattoos.  Until yesterday, I never really gave either of them much thought.  They are part of me and although I love them both, I often forget that they are there.

At the massage school I attended (and where I now volunteer in class) there are a lot of tattoos.  Almost all the students have at least one, but most have more.  As students at massage school, they also get partially naked on a regular basis so most tattoos get revealed at some point in the course of the year.  Even as an apprentice, I participate in the class and am not exempt from the showing of my tattoos.  This often leads to tattoo-themed compliments, remarks, comparisons and stories.  And it’s got me thinking…

One of my tattoos is on the back of my neck.  It’s a dragonfly.  In my everyday life, I usually wear my long hair down and the tattoo remains hidden.  However, when I am working or when I am receiving a massage, I wear my hair in a ponytail, exposing the tattoo for all to see.  It’s smallish and, one could argue, almost demure but too realistic to be cute.  It’s nice and I’m not afraid to let it show.

The other tattoo is a dragon.  It’s on my lower abdomen to the right of my bellybutton and is the size of my whole hand.  Under normal circumstances it is hidden away beneath my clothes.  Only in rare circumstances, when I might brave a bikini, does it ever see the light of day.  It’s bold and fierce and only gets shown to people with whom I feel very comfortable and whom I trust.

Does anyone else notice anything?

What I noticed is that I have managed to put all of my self-esteem and personal issues into the design and placement of my tattoos – without even realizing it.

The dragonfly is the light and happy persona that I share with the world at large.  It’s the safe side of me that is pretty and unimposing and, for the most part, will be accepted by the general public.  And it's on the back of my neck where I can't see it.

The dragon is the other side.  The real me.  The person I wish I had the strength and courage to be more often.  It's right there on my tummy where I get to see it every day.  It is bold and fierce and even though some people might be taken aback by it, it’s absolutely awesome. 

I wonder if the real me will ever come out of hiding?