Three's Company

Recently I've become friends with a married couple.  It began as a friendship between me and the wife.  We are neighbours, mothers, and wives -- we have plenty in common.  She's bright, caring and funny.  And, like me, she doesn't feel like she really fits in in the little corner of the world we call home.

I got to know the husband initially in a more "professional" manner.  We have an exchange student and the husband is our area rep: our liaison, mentor and advisor.  We've had a lot of trouble with our exchange student so I've had more than average need to talk to him.  I was then able to get to know him in a more social level because of my friendship with his wife and the friendship between our children.

Lately the husband and I have become friends in our own right.  We are very much alike in very many ways.  We are both writers.  We both have an interest in metaphysics and related arts.  We each have a dark side.  He understands me in a way that only very few people in my life have ever been able to.

One of the many things I have in common with them is that we are none of us in perfect marriages and the problems they have are similar to the ones that I have with my husband.  Unfortunately, because of their history and the baggage they still carry, certain comfort barriers have been breached and I have somehow managed to exacerbate their problems.  Not me personally, but the situation I've created.  On the one hand, having me as a catalyst has forced them to grapple with long-dormant issues, which, I hope, will start the ball rolling towards healing themselves and their marriage.  On the other hand, I feel like I've rocked the boat and I am terribly afraid that our friendships may not be able to swim.  And I really need them to.

I am not sure how to move forward but I know that we can not move backward.  I am in the unusual position of being confidante to them both.  I hope I can serve them both equally well and, in the end, help them as much as they have helped me.