Stupid Cancer, Part 2

I really hope this doesn't become a long series of posts entitled "Stupid Cancer" but I'm very afraid it will.

It's been almost 7 weeks since Part 1.  The story then was: possible cancer recurrence.  The doctors had: a shadow on a CT scan/MRI/x-ray, some spots on a bone scan, a nagging cough and fluid around the heart which, taken all together, probably meant cancer but they had no way to biopsy anything.  The plan was 3 rounds of chemo each 3 weeks apart then reassess.  The third round will be in  few days.  So far the chemo is going well.  She's lost her hair and is tired but hasn't been nauseous or had too many side-effects.  However...

It turns out that she's been seeing her oncologist after each chemo treatment and the story has been changing.  Apparently now it's definitely a recurrence of breast cancer, which seems to have spread to the bones and the fluid around her heart also contains cancerous cells (the fluid was causing the cough).  They are officially waiting until after the next round of chemo to come up with the next plan but obviously there will be a continuation of the chemo.  Probably indefinitely.  And possible surgery for the fluid around the heart.

So, after the initial shock and grieving I went through, I kind of got used to the idea that cancer was back in my life.  Still, even though the news was bad the situation was presented to me then in as positive a light as it could be.  I guess that is to be expected, when the story is coming from the one with the diagnosis.  A positive attitude means everything.  Today, I got the bigger picture from her husband, with the added details and a bit more reality.  He's still positive, but it was very clear this time that it's now very serious.  Obviously, we're still positive but we also need to grasp the whole scope of the situation.

And it sucks.