Fatigue

I am exhausted.  There is nothing I would like more than to sleep -- and possibly never wake up.  Every ounce of me is just plain tired, right down to my bones.

I've done my fair share of sleeping over the past six months.  I find that it's a very successful avoidance technique.  When I get overwhelmed and the world becomes too much for me to handle, I sleep.  But that need for sleep, the one that comes from depression, feels different.

This is a different sort of need.  It's not just my mind that needs it, but my body as well.  It's as if all my strength and energy has been drained from me.  I'd almost think that I was the subject of some crazy alien experiment except that I think I know what the cause of this is.  I think that weeks of unexpressed anger - huge amounts of anger - are consuming me from the inside out.

If I don't soon figure out how to express my anger, constructively or otherwise, it may well kill me.