Big News

Last week we got big news.  Actually, I got more big news than I wanted.  Not only did I learn that my father has cancer (again) but on that same day I learned that we have to move.  It seems we have outstayed our welcome in this lovely country we have come to call home and we are not allowed to stay any longer.

We were hoping to get green cards which would have allowed us to stay here indefinitely.  My husband's company wanted him to stay and tried very hard to make it happen.  Unfortunately, as often occurs when dealing with a large, international company, the responsibilities got passed off to various people at the national level, who ended up dropping the ball and essentially screwing us over.  So despite everyone here really wanting us to stay, we may not.

Our current visas expire on July 27, so we have to make sure we can leave the country by then.  We can come back after as visitors but we can't live or work here again -- at least not for another year or more.  By US laws, my husband can apply to work here again after a year spent abroad.  By the rules of his company, he can return to the US again as an expat after 2 years abroad.  So, we may be back but only time will tell.

In the meantime, we have been trying to process the news and make decisions for our futures that will make all of us happy.  What that looks like is that my husband will go to work in Brazil for a couple of years while the children and I move to Canada.

In the midst of trying to work out details to stay in the US, my husband was offered a job in Brazil -- sort of a Plan B if the US didn't work out.  He'll still be with the same company, just at another location.  My husband's dream is to live and work on all the continents (possibly excluding Antarctica, although he'd love to visit).  So far, he's managed the northern hemisphere, having worked in Europe, Asia and North America.  So the Brazil job is not only a great job opportunity but goes hand-in-hand toward making his lifelong dream a reality.  They are still working out the details of the job in Brazil, but we assume that it will happen.

While my husband's dream is to live all over the world, and while I have followed him across 3 continents (giving birth to children on 2 of them), I am no longer willing to give up everything to do that.  We had some great adventures, but moving to new countries every few years has prevented me from ever investing in myself.  As it is, I have to give up my newly established practice and I won't be able to work as a massage therapist in Canada.  Beyond that, I don't want to leave my ill family and the much-needed support of my friends to follow a man I barely have a relationship with to the far reaches of the world.  In Canada, I will have the support of friends and family and, as a Canadian, I will be able to work and establish a life for myself that I won't ever have to give up -- unless I so choose.  That said, I would never ask my husband to give up his dream so the only logical conclusion is to each of us go where we want to be.

We have discussed this with the children, who both decided they did not want to move to Brazil.  They will happily visit, but they do not want to live there.  Obviously, they would rather not move at all but knowing they have to move, they think Canada will be pretty good.  They both hold Canadian passports but have never lived in the country so we are all looking forward to them building a relationship with at least one country and its people to which they belong.  They are excited about being that much closer to their cousins, grandparents and other close friends, while also maintaining an easy distance to their friends here in Michigan.  Obviously, they don't like the idea of living so far from their father but with current technology, they can Skype every day and we plan to have plenty of visits. 

So, in a nutshell, my life has been upended.  I can't say it surprises me.  It always felt that I was hoping against hope that it would all work out and we would be able to stay.  Even though we all would have preferred to stay, I feel there is a different energy to this -- that we are no longer fighting a losing battle.  I am still not at all looking forward to moving but I think, in the end, it will be ok.  I really hope it will...