Tuesday 25 January 2011

On the Edge

Well, it seems I did jinx myself after all.  Not that I was really any less productive today than I have been.  I got a lot done & the day flew by, which is always nice.  However, I did manage to jinx my mood because I finally fell off of Cloud 9, where I'd been residing since last Friday.

I knew all of these wonderfully pleasant feelings couldn't - and wouldn't - last, but I'd hoped I'd get more than 3 days before I came down off my high.  I shouldn't really complain.  I should be happy with what I can get -- but I was really, really hoping to keep the sadness and misery at bay for just a few days longer.

However, a conversation I had last night brought me suddenly back to the stark reality of the current messed up state of my life and this morning I found myself, once again, perched on the edge of a deep, dark chasm trying desperately not to fall in.  I can feel the downward spiral starting and I do NOT want to go there.  I've been fighting it all day long, so far with a fair amount of success.  I'm just not sure how long I'll be able to balance on the edge before I fall.  With any luck it will be long enough to catch a good breeze that will float me back up to the happy, productive place I spent the last few days. 

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